For Bahá’ís, marriage is far more than a romantic milestone. It is a spiritual partnership, a foundation for family life and, in the words of Bahá’u’lláh, “a fortress for well-being and salvation.” This guide explains what the Bahá’í writings say about marriage, the few simple laws that shape a Bahá’í wedding, and practical steps for couples who are getting serious.
The purpose of marriage in the Bahá’í Faith
Bahá’u’lláh, the Founder of the Bahá’í Faith, encouraged marriage directly: “Enter into wedlock, O people, that ye may bring forth one who will make mention of Me amid My servants.” Marriage is not required of every Bahá’í, but it is warmly encouraged as the natural setting for love, companionship and the raising of children who will serve humanity.
‘Abdu’l-Bahá described the ideal clearly: “The true marriage of Bahá’ís is this, that husband and wife should be united both physically and spiritually, that they may ever improve the spiritual life of each other, and may enjoy everlasting unity throughout all the worlds of God.”
Three ideas run through the Bahá’í teachings on marriage:
- Spiritual companionship. Husband and wife help each other grow closer to God, not only through this life but beyond it.
- Equality and consultation. Men and women are equal, and important decisions in the family are made through loving, frank consultation rather than by one partner alone.
- Family as the building block of society. A united family is seen as a model of unity for the wider community.
Know each other’s character first
Bahá’í courtship puts character ahead of appearance or circumstance. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá wrote: “Bahá’í marriage is the commitment of the two parties one to the other, and their mutual attachment of mind and heart. Each must, however, exercise the utmost care to become thoroughly acquainted with the character of the other, that the binding covenant between them may be a tie that will endure forever.”
In practice, that means taking time. Couples are encouraged to see each other in many settings: with family, at work, serving others, under stress and in everyday routines. Honest conversation about faith, family, children, money and goals matters more than a whirlwind romance. Our companion guide, Questions to Ask Before Marriage: A Bahá’í Guide, offers 56 questions, grouped by topic, to help.
Bahá’ís are also asked to keep their relationship chaste before marriage. Shoghi Effendi summed up the standard in a single line: “Before marriage absolutely chaste, after marriage absolutely faithful to one’s chosen companion.” You can read more in Chastity and Sexual Intimacy as a Bahá’í.
Parental consent
One of the most distinctive Bahá’í marriage laws is that a couple who wish to marry must have the consent of all their living natural parents. Bahá’u’lláh explained the purpose in the Kitáb-i-Aqdas: “Desiring to establish love, unity and harmony amidst Our servants, We have conditioned it, once the couple’s wish is known, upon the permission of their parents, lest enmity and rancour should arise amongst them.”
A few points are worth knowing:
- The couple chooses each other first. Parents do not arrange the match; they are asked to consent once the couple has decided.
- It applies to every living natural parent, whether the parent is a Bahá’í or not, and whether or not the parent raised the child.
- It applies at any age, including to people who have been married before.
- Parents should consent freely and are free to give or withhold consent. If consent is withheld, the couple may not marry, but they can keep praying, talking with their families and giving them time.
- There are rare exceptions, for example when a parent has died or cannot legally give consent. Your Local Spiritual Assembly can advise on any unusual situation.
Many couples find that asking for consent brings their families closer. Shoghi Effendi explained that the law exists “to strengthen the social fabric, to knit closer the ties of the home.”
The Bahá’í wedding vow and ceremony
A Bahá’í wedding is beautifully simple. There is no clergy and no fixed ritual. The only required element is that the bride and groom each say the vow revealed by Bahá’u’lláh, in the presence of at least two witnesses accepted by the Local Spiritual Assembly:
“We will all, verily, abide by the Will of God.”
Beyond that, couples design the ceremony themselves. Most include prayers and readings from the Bahá’í writings, and many add music, poetry and readings from other traditions that are meaningful to their families. The ceremony can be held at home, in a garden, a hall or any dignified setting.
Before the wedding, the couple contacts the Local Spiritual Assembly (or the National Spiritual Assembly) where the ceremony will take place. The Assembly confirms that the requirements are met, including parental consent and approval of the witnesses, and authorizes the marriage. In many countries the Assembly can also help with the civil registration so the marriage is legally recognized.
Marrying someone of another faith
Bahá’ís may marry people of other faiths or of no faith. Every Bahá’í marriage, including one between a Bahá’í and someone of another faith, needs the Bahá’í ceremony with the vow, parental consent and Assembly authorization.
A couple may also hold a second ceremony from the other partner’s religion. National Spiritual Assemblies give guidance on how this works; for example, both ceremonies are usually held on the same day, each is given equal respect, and the Bahá’í partner does not declare belief in another religion. Your Assembly can explain the details for your country. For a fuller explanation, read our guide to Bahá’í interfaith marriage.
Engagement, dowry and other laws
The Kitáb-i-Aqdas also contains laws on a limited engagement period and on a dowry. At present these laws apply only when both partners are Persian Bahá’ís, wherever they live. Other couples are free to follow them if they wish. Monogamy is required, and divorce is strongly discouraged; when a marriage is in serious difficulty, Bahá’í law provides for a “year of patience” before a divorce.
Practical steps for engaged couples
- Pray and reflect together on whether this is the right partnership.
- Talk openly about faith, children, finances, careers and where you will live.
- Meet each other’s families and ask for parental consent, ideally in person or by a heartfelt letter.
- Contact your Local Spiritual Assembly early to learn its procedures and timelines.
- Choose two witnesses and confirm they are acceptable to the Assembly.
- Arrange the civil side: marriage license and registration requirements in your country or state.
- Plan a ceremony that reflects both of you, with the vow at its heart.
- Consider marriage preparation, such as courses, books or conversations with couples you admire.
Common questions
Do both partners need to be Bahá’ís?
No. A Bahá’í may marry someone of another faith. The Bahá’í marriage laws still apply, including the ceremony and parental consent.
Do I need consent if my parents are not Bahá’ís?
Yes. The consent of all living natural parents is required, whatever their religion.
What exactly is said at a Bahá’í wedding?
Each partner says, “We will all, verily, abide by the Will of God,” in front of two approved witnesses. Everything else is up to the couple.
Where can I meet Bahá’í singles who share these values?
Bahá’í Mingle is a free Bahai dating site with members in 125 countries. You can create a free profile in a few minutes.
Quotations are from the Bahá’í writings as published in the compilation on family life and marriage on the official Bahá’í website. This article is a general introduction; for guidance on your own situation, contact your Local or National Spiritual Assembly.
